What a fool i had on this year April's Fool. It is not from someone else, it is all from my own self.
I spend almost 3 quarter of the day dealing with my vomit and the hangover.
Never in my life tried to vomit so many times in a day and i don't understand why my hangover can go on for so so so long!!
I started vomitting in the morning, i was awake by my grumpy stomach, and there goes my vomit fool day starts.
Every little sip of water i drank, i vomit; Every small piece of food i eat, i vomit; I even vomit the pills i ate!! Almost every half and hour, i vomit ... it is really not a good experience.
Weird feelings in my stomach, massive headache, felt very hungry and needed food to fill in, but don't have a very good appetite. I even starts to shiver, i couldn't even use the chopstick properly. Sometimes i felt so cold that i already wear 2 layers of clothes and a quilt covered around my body.
I don't know what's wrong with my stupid bloody stomach.
I don't think i drank alot that night, just a few cups of vodka + coke, n whisky + coke .... I drank more when i go to the tav with ML n G, but that time, i didn't even feel drunk, just abit high, don't even have hangover in the next morning.
Maybe because, we drank at home and I know i will be safe if i am really drunk!! I don't know eh ... just .... what's bloody wrong with my stomach and tat's all .... made me had a dump day.
SY even asked me why drink so much ...
Somehow, i want to try to be drunk, i want the feeling of getting drunk, the feeling of I-DON'T-CARE-A-SHIT, the feeling of go with the flow, the feeling of getting high, the feeling of getting close with people...
Somehow, i want to be cared, sounds so damn pathetic and desperate, but recently i do have that feeling. The feeling of wanting people to care about me, wanting people not to ignore me, the feeling of dependant! Such an asshole i am.
The rebellious in me started showing out, maybe i do hv bad mood these few weeks. Maybe i really need to let it out so that i could get a relief and not to feel that way anymore.
How i wish i could quit that.
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heyyy happy april fool's day! im happy to say i spent my april fool peacefully by slacking and panicking for my essay due today. eh i watched v for vendetta liao do go and watch! cinematography is just amazing.
I understand what u mean about wanting ppl to care about u. recently, i think u have devoted a lot of time to think about other ppl. Do give urself some space to breath. I know ur a great friend:)) but don't suddenly get lost in a world that is unfamiliar from urs. U need a normal routine to get life going with spices happening now and then. Don't ruin urself by thinking ur rebellious just becuz everybody has to follow the norm. you are one free girl who can choose to do what she thinks is right and i think u know wat tat is. It's okay to let urself go once in a while. ((hugss))
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