A post that i'll say what i wanna say

~Lately been listening to Jacky Cheung classic cantonese song, love it!~

This year have encounter with quite a few drunken moments, being drunk myself, being half drunk myself and see others being fully drunk, seeing others suffers from vomits, seeing others doing stupid stuff, seeing myself vomit for half a day. In the end, wanna ask myself, WHAT'S THE POINT?? What's the point to get drunk when i really feel like getting drunk. We just wanna get high so that we can rest our complicated mind for a while and subconciously that is what we called release our pressure. But, seriously when you get up another day with a headache and maybe some weird active in your stomach, what's the point again! The complicated matters still come back and haunt us together with the headache and active stomach. I found myself easily cry when i am half drunk these days. WHAT'S THE POINT??????
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Few weeks ago, LT suddenly come out from her room and told us that there's a weird guy showing his penis on the webcam while chatting with her. We then all go into her room and see what's going on. LT said she thought this is her old friend who just added her, becuz normally she won't simply give out her msn address, and then suddenly that guy ask her whether she wants to start a video conversation or not, luckily LT doesn't have a webcam, if not her face would exposed to this pervert. So the pervert put the webcam on his penis, and one of his hand non stop masturbating n another hand keep on typing as he chats with LT. Haha... i wonder what's wrong with this kind of people, he show his penis and he masturbate, but then the content that he chats is so damn normal.... so we typed something dirty and he "paiseh"!!! I wonder what he is thinking. Can't read their mind properly, something must have gone wrong with them.
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I go back to work again, cuz i run out of money and i desperately need money. I also need to save for my Melbourne trip, dunno whether i am able to go or not, as the originally planned has been CHANGED!!!

Whatever, i get back to my working routine and also studies, at least some of my time dedicated to my work, so i won't feel so empty.

Yesterday, my manager told me that the first day i go back to work, he was really happy to see me again. That day, my boss told me that she is very glad that i am back, cuz they really need me. hmmm.... i start to feel my importance in Pizza Express. My manager always say that i am one of the fastest driver in Pizza Express, made me wondering am i really. Of cuz the no.1 driver is that aussie guy that works 6 days a week 4:30 -3am. But then, i wonder am i the second or maybe third!! Hmm... gotta see the statistic only i get to know. Most of the drive that works in P.E., doesn't work very long. This year when i go back to work, lots of new driver, some of them were forced to be the driver as we dun have enuf driver.

Anyway, i like this year crew, it is more fun this year.
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I always accidentally hurt myself without noticing it. I think i knock my head when i was half drunk that day and now i found a bruise behind my head.

Dunno when and dunno how, i got my finger cut.

Just yesterday, my arm was scracthed over a nail while working ... ouch, that's hurt!

Yesterday too, i left a fishbone inside my throat before i left for work. I have to hold on to the pain when i swallow saliva or water, until now, it's still hurt abit.

So, someday ... i shall go hurt myself on my ear. Maybe one my eyebrow or on my nose ... anywhere else!! No nipple pls.
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Have you ever have a very very close friend (unacceptable close), they leave you in a sudden, you finally accept that they are going to leave and then when they really leave you and no update from them. I mean not even a 'safely arrive home' news. Not even an email, not even a msg when he/she got home. and you only got his/her msg when he/she is waiting at the airport, feeling bored and all. Don't you feel that he/she only tot of you when he/she feels bored. The day before he/she left can be so damn fucking close and then when he/she go back home, he/she didn't even bother about you. How can you accept that!! It makes me think that i was being used, i was only being any other normal people of his/hers. It has been a week and he/she never writes to me. 2 friend of mine even ask me whether that person writes to me or chat on MSN after he/she got back, i just said NO, they both felt WEIRD! What, is playing disappearance a good activity to play? I find it so irritated when other ppl ask me whether that person has left, i have to say yes. They even ask me whether i miss him/her or not. I didn't answer. Becuz deep down i know i miss him/her, but on the surface of my inner me, i hate him/her and even angry him/her too. Why do ppl need to ask me when i don't even know anything about his/her life rite fucking now.
One friend of mine said "oh well, go back home is just like heaven, you got so many TV show to watch, you get to hang out with your family, where to find time to go online!" This is just an excuse actually. I know that person goes online everyday, this is his/her everyday routine. No matter how busy you are, you can still write a msg, write an email, send an sms. Don't tell me sms is expensive! International sms in msia is soo bloody cheap. If you wanna say money is the problem that caused communication breakdown. Well i can expect that this person is only a friend of yours when he/she is physically next to you, but when we are apart, we won't be friends, becuz we won't be checking out each other. So is that what you called friends?
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I am so vulgar these days. Vulgar in my heart. Sometimes i feel like shouting out loud 'FUCK YOU' or 'SHUT THE FUCK UP'. Everything come to me, i can find it's BULLSHIT.
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Since last week, my appetite not so well, sometimes my shit comes out easily. I can't even finish a bowl of Nissin Instant Noodles. I can't finish one whole pizza (i used to finish it last time). I can't finish my meal and i have to seperate it into 2 meals. Then i weigh myself yesterday. 1.5kg down!! YAY .... 2 more kgs to go to reach my target.
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Stressed!!
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Didn't really see my real smile for a long time. *sigh*
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Skin very dry, i am very dark, skin colour no reflection, shud go n repair them.
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This autumn is so damn cold, I am all by myself (by Jamie O'Neal) , lately been listen to some old song, like Whitney Houston-I will always love you, The Carpenters' songs, some Toni Braxton and lots of Jacky Cheung old classic stuff (he is god...)
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