I hate this

Been tiring for the whole week, dunno what to tired!!! ah... maybe becoz of i hv longer journey to college and back home. Dad on leave for the whole week, so my daily routine ain't gonna be the same as usual day, i have to take the LRT from my house, and then all the way transfering to college. This is killing me like hell, i really feel tired and plus the meaningless LAN subject that i have to take, it is killing my time n my energy. (if i take all 3 subjects, i think i will just die there).

Just this morning, late for 10 mins i think, is my first late in this sem, just becoz the stupid fucking bus dunwan to start its engine at Tmn Bahagia station. Wasted me 20 mins, my mind was blank, i rush to the class, run to the class, then... running and rushing for becoming Ms. Christine eye of hers.... argh...... i hate this, why why, there are like 8 ppl in the class, why i am the 'lucky' one, why not Landy, she also quiet mah, u think i wan to stay quiet ah, u think everyone has so many things to say ah, u think everyone has to respond to what u ask ah... my mouth dun like to open at that time of the moment. U think i like this class ah, u think i like this subject ah, u think i wan to study this subject, i really have no choice, why we are also the student of Murdoch Uni, bt we treated unfairly, why they can choose more than 10 subject in their yr1 and only 1 sem, they can choose lots and tons of shit that want to, they can always seek for the unit they like, they love, they are interested in!!! Why, why we hv no choice to choose, why the unit that offered here are all theories, why why why why why why why ..... MEdia Research Methods, Principles of Marketing, Writing for the Media, these 3 unit, u think i wan to take ah, i really have choice bt to choose them, and i dunno why i will choose MRM among the others 3 unit, i m blind, i m blinded by what they gave us beginning of this sem. I feel so tired doing things that i dun like to do, things that i have no interest at all, forcing myself to fulfill what i have to do, within these few weeks, i question myself, why i m not motivated, why i find it so hard to start to understand what the hell in those book, my blind stuck, cannot receive anything out of the thing i wan to accept, not that i dunwan to accept, i have to accept the fact, i do accept them, bt it is very hard to let myself dip into the joy of doing things that are nt my cup of tea.

I even question myself, am i in the wrong school? Am i in the wrong country's uni? Why theories are important when it doesn't exist in the field? I don't wanna type

MRM gonna be my nitemare class, and what not.... am i going to fail this subject? FUCKING BULLSHIT