Crazy World

While i was driving as a pizza delivery a few weeks ago, i am always listening to the radio, until this songs from Simple Plan. It is their latest songs, but when i first heard it, i was thinking why he is mumbling and dunno what the hell he is singing, i even think that why Simple Plan 's singing like singing for the kids, their catchy tune is more like pop style and all.... Yea i slammed them in my heart on why they aren't growing, i mean in terms of their music.

Until one day, the lyrics of the songs came clearly to me, it's actually talk about the society today, i am like ... oh no !!! I have slammed them wrongly, luckily not in public.

I start to respect them, though their music style is more like playing for the teenage or those young school kids, but they are a bunch of serious musician who wrote serious stuff but presented in a commercialized way.

"CRAZY"

Tell me what's wrong with society
When everywhere I look, I see
Young girls dying to be on TV
They won't stop till they've reached their dreams

Diet pills, surgery
Photoshopped pictures in magazines
Telling them how they should be
It doesn't make sense to me

Is everybody going crazy?
Is anybody gonna save me?
Can anybody tell me what's going on?
Tell me what's going on?
If you open your eyes
You'll see that something is wrong

I guess things are not how they used to be
There's no more normal families
Parents act like enemies
Making kids feel like it's World War III

No one cares, no one's there
I guess we're all just too damn busy
And money's our first priority
It doesn't make sense to me

Is everybody going crazy?
Is anybody gonna save me?
Can anybody tell me what's going on?
Tell me what's going on?
If you open your eyes
You'll see that something is wrong

Is everybody going crazy?
Is everybody going crazy?

Tell me what's wrong with society
When everywhere I look I see
Rich guys driving big SUVs
While kids are starving in the streets

No one cares
No one likes to share
I guess life's unfair

Is everybody going crazy?
Is anybody gonna save me?
Can anybody tell me what's going on?
Tell me what's going on?
If you open your eyes
You'll see that something, something is wrong

Is everybody going crazy?
Can anybody tell me what's going on?
Tell me what's going on?
If you open your eyes
You'll see that something is wrong

Yea, what's wrong with the society today, is it everything going crazy or wat. The lyrics in the songs reflected the society today, diet pills, broken family, money oriented, extremely rich people enjoying life while those extremely poor people starving for food, struggling with diseases. It actually talk about this materialistic society, especially on how the media manipulate the people on they should look like and all that shit.

when would be the end of the world??? why would i think of this .... becuz this world is going crazy, it is going to the uncontrollable stage where the world come to an end. this is no jokes, though the view outside of my window look nice, though today is a beautiful day, but there is another part of the world where people struggling to live; hurricane, earth quake, war, diseases, fire, flood and etc..... they hv no beautiful day, they see no spectacular scenic view, they breathe no clean air, they eat no food but struggle to swallow their saliva. What's wrong with the society??

Why is it so unfair that there are still so many people stuggle to live and there are half of the ignorant bunch who drives their ferrari, party everyday, shopping everyday and buy useless branded goods, drink coffee that could eat up my parents whole month salary yet they find it disgusting. What's high culture when there are poor people living innocently and helplessly??

It has to be a well kept SECRet

When i was going to start on my Screen TExt 3000 words essay last thursday evening, suddenly i've got a message from MSN .....

In that conversation with someone, he/she suddenly reveal something to me, though the whole crisis has no relation with me, but yea .... after knowing the real story, this person perception that i have one him/her has change a bit, though it is not a drastic change, just that i kinda realise the thing that we all it is all lies. It is not a small lie but a BIG BIG LIE .... after listen to his/her explanation, i only got one expression - WAH, i am so damn shocked to knw the truth behind it, i can't do anything about it and i am the only one who this truth, i can't tell anybody in aus .... but i really feel like telling at least one of the close person. Cuz to keep a secret alone ... as in nobody share this secret with me ... it is kinda hard, cuz the shock that i received ... i really wish to share with someone. But i couldn't .. if not i would break my promises. Maybe one day i would tell share with a person, but i dun think now is the right time .... as there are still complication in his/her side.

After knowing it ... i have mixed feeling, cuz i should be standing on his/her side and support her, but knowing the act that he/she did, i know it is not rite, he/she also know it is not rite and felt guilty too. This secret really affect my mood to do my assignments, while i am doing my assignment, i can't stop thinking about it, thinking abt the consequences he/she will gotta bare in the future ... hah .. tis is hard!!

Se7en Tag

I am supposed to get a nap after the long night i had last night, but i couldn't. Since that i have been tagged by Piggymama, so i would just answer it lo.

Seven things you plan to do before you die:

• Travel around the world in backpacking style
• To be able to ride on all the rollercoaster in the world
• At least come out with a song in a band
  
• Go for skydiving
• Settle down with a house facing the beach, with someone company
• Eat Ramen in Hokkaido street during winter
• To discover my hidden talent
  

Seven things I could do:

• Read maps
  
• Play drums
• Edit digital photos
• Able to cook some simple food and not to make myself hungry
• Sleep well
  
• Take still photos/moving picture
• Visualised or fantasies things that are outrages
  

Seven celebrity crushes:

• Mark Feehily
• Johnny Depp
  
• Michelle Branch (her writing talent)
  
• David Beckham (used to)
  
• Jason Wade (his deep sad voice)
  
• Jacky Cheung
  
• Rob Bourdon
  

Seven often repeated words:

• Shit
• Fuck
• Damn
• Yea
• Maybe
  
• If
  
• "si la" direct translate of "die la"
  

Seven physical traits I look for in the opposite traits:

• Attractive big eyes, or eyes that speak
  
• Tall
  
• Tough body but not like Arnold (but not too skinny not too fat is what i ask for)
  
• Good looking hairstyle (sideburn must be there, can't be too short too, i have a fetish on guy's sideburn)
  
• A bit of 须根 to show his masculine side
  
• Know how to dress is a bonus point too
  
• Sharp nose that matches with the face figure well and the lips too
  

Seven tags go to:

• Chip
  
• Lolita Babe
• Siang Yee the lao kung
  
• Rach

Eh this people, you have been tagged la, better make the tag goes on.

Yea, not much people i know got a blog n do visit my blog, so there goes 4 people in my list.

Finally

it's alll done.

3 Days shooting in a row...

Everything prepared in a rush, alot of things need to cut it out.... have no idea la, this is such a cheappo production wat!!!

In this production, we really have a lot of things happened, from pre-pro, to the shooting itself, car wheel sunk into sands caused late shooting .... damn bad luck!

I am so damn bloody tired, after finish the shooting, gotta work too ... wat a day!!

But then tmrw need to start on my Screen Text Essay, cannot be postponed d .... so can't expect to have much free time loo!

After finish these 4 more hectic weeks, and that's another end of semester, another end of year, n next year i'll b 3rd year - my last year in uni. So damn sad!

Uni life is good, uni life is fun, 1 year in college, 2 years in uni .. that's not enuf!

God ... GuanYin... give my family financial support, so that they could support me to further my study.

I always wanted to write

these message on my FLAT MESSAGE BOARD to both of the Aussie BITCH that stayed and shared the same flat with me this semester!

DON'T BLOODY SLAMMED THE DOOR WHENEVER YOU GUYS GO OUT, TELL YOUR FUCKING FRIENDS ABOUT IT TOO, IT IS GOD DAMN ANNOYING.

I don't know why they loves to slam the door even their friends too, don't they know slamming the door is god damn RUDE!!! or don't they know slamming the door this HARD, it's actually affecting the whole flat, it feels like earthquake seriously. And they always have early morning class, and so when they go out for class in the freaking EARLY morning, 8 / 9am.... BLOODY HELL, me n SY still sleeping ok!!! We always have late night and our class is not as early as theirs. I always awake by THEIR fucking door slamming and THEIR fucking cupboard door slamming NOISE. I don't know why they can't seems to CARE about the OTHERS!!!! who also stay in the flat, i don't want to says we are sleeping or wat... they just LOVES to slam the door HARD. As if they want the whole village people know that they are going out!!

I have been tahan for so many weeks, they make me feel sick of staying in SV. They make me want to move out and have my own peaceful place to live!!! They are just such a TYRANT.

Ever since the first day they came in, their impression gave me was not too good, though that shortie did smile a lot and seems to be nice, but IT IS ALL BULLSHIT, she just turn 18 and she is like a control freak. The first day she came in, she n her mother start to utilised the whole flat, start to occupy the cupboards, the dishdryer, the pots n pans putting place.... almost everything.

What i am really pissed at is the cutlery cupboard that we had our cutleries PUTTING IN there, and guess wat happened after i came back from home. The whole kitchen setting almost changed, pots n pans area almost utilised by their pots n pans and most important the cutleries cupboard, .... it had changed to her newly open cutleries, and so where the hell is our cutleries??? Don't know!! From what i observed before i went out that day, her mother does all those things, arranged all those kitchen setting up things. What a mother!! I can't seems to find our dish washing sponge. and i saw some of our things being dumped into the big bin out there. I wonder whether they know the word R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

I really hate to say this, but they really have no RESPECT to others, chinese ppl love scold such people as "no mother teach" or "no family teach" .... but hey... i think her mother really didn't teach her about the MORALITY, RESPECT, CONSIDERATIBILY, SHARING, cuz her mother also know nothing about those values. They are just simply loud person who seems to be educated.

The 2nd thing i am really pissed at them is that they loves to occupy the lounge and the TV. They watch TV from the time i wake up til night when i am almost going to sleep or when there is no more nice programme to watch. Not to say we can't sit n watch together with them, the problem with them is that sometimes they have a bunch of friends who always came n watch togther and also the programme that they watch is not what we wanted to watch. They loves to watch those aussie 20 yrs old soaps, how the hell i would understand where i never follow the soaps 20 years ago! Whenever they are watching TV, they just used up all the space at the lounge, they bring their books, notes, study n copy notes and then at the same time watch tv. How the hell they can study??? What added my fire to burst out is that, they even have a 41" inch HUGE TV in their room, but never want to watch it in their room, but loves to use the lounge area to watch their TV. The TV is not even theirs, it is Tommy's Tv, T himself hardly watch TV this semester, becuz it is all occupied by them, neither do i nor SY.

Once they are at the lounge area, the kitchen will also occupied by them, they are just a bunch of youngsters who don't know how to cook except for baking frozen foods and melting pasta. Once they cook, they will utilised the whole place, i don't understand why they need to use so many plates n equipments.

There is also another thing- THE DISHDRYER. Me n SY is so damn pissed when our cutleries n plates being moved from the dishdryer to the dirty table by putting our things as simply as they can, as irresponsible as they can, and they never intend to stack it up n put our things at one corner, even the pots n pans too. They knew the pots n pans has a special place to put, but they never put it in, they just simply put on the table, let it rot, let it dry, let it get dirty again. I start to understand they "NEED" to use the WHOLE dishdryer to dry their plates n cutleries that is with soaps. This is how the way they wash their stuff, now i know why our dish washing liquid finish so fast.

They always do this to us, now wat.... we can't put our things on the dishdryer to dry our belongings?????!!!! If they really want to remove our stuff from the dishdryer rack and dry their only stuff, why can't they just put it aside n stack it all together. Why they have to simply dump our stuff on the dirty table?? they really has no manners, never respect people n others belongings.

That shortie, loves to control ... she just loves to control, there was once when the bin is almost full, and that is my duty for the week, it is only tuesday or wednesday, the bin shouldn't be full so fast IF THE PERSON WHO SHUD DO IT THE WEEK BEFORE MINE. Yea... i am the victim, she wrote a message on my board and says "the bins really need to be cleaned, and the recycle bin too" IT is only god damn freaking tuesday/wednesday, how the hell it could b so full, and that time i am really busy, not even have time to cook or throw rubbish. Why it is so full, just before her roommate - her friend - the tall bitch. DIN FREAKING DO HER DUTY THE PREVIOUS WEEK, and now that she wants to put the blame on me. I remember the recycle bin is already damn full in the weekend, and the bin is going to be full in the weekend too.

This is not the only thing, she happened to write alot of stuff on the message board, included "noise curfew", "what is not clean", "what has to be done" and all sort of shit, can't even recall. and guess what, now it is after 11pm and she is having a party in our flat with all her "pig dog friends", a bunch of noisy and drunk animal. She is the one who knocked on my door to ask me to tune down my speaker volumn, which is not too loud at all. She is the one who says the flat noise curfew is after 10pm. She is the one who asked me to clean the bin but last week she didn't do her duty and makes this week bin overloaded.

Another thing that really annoyed me is that her fucking noise, so damn "hao" ... ARgh!! Hate this kind of voice, especially when she is infront of guys, that is even worse. And i really don't know what is good about her, why there are so many guys loves to stick with her, loves to come to our flat n pay her a visit in the morning, in the arvo, at night!!! Basically the whole flat is utilised by her n her friends, we dun really get to sit at the lounge n enjoy the TV. What we can do is to hide in our rooms and face our laptop, i almost eat every of meal in my room, facing my monitor. Last semester i get to eat at the lounge, mingle with the others, watch TV together, just like a happy family.

Sometimes i don't feel like going back, especially after a tired night of work. I am so sick of the flat being utilised by the others, i am so sick of not getting to watch the TV n relax. I am so sick of reading the message that she wrote n start to complaining about this n tat, especially when her words are sarcastic. There was one Saturday when i m all alone in the flat, i feel so good. But after she came back.... my mood drop down. It din't give me the feeling like home, it didn't give the feeling that i am home to chill n relax. They just give me more stress, more tension, more restrictions, i am like being trapped in a nail cage, where there are not even a hole for me to breath the air from outside, i am so stuffed inside the pressured place.

I have used 1 1/2 hours to write tis.

I am so sick of them. The hegemony bunch.


I think they don't even understand the word S-H-A-R-E.

Never dare to think they know the word R-E-S-P-E-C-T and C-A-R-E or C-O-N-S-I-D-E-R-A-T-E exists.





Hegemony BITCH.


5-6 more weeks to hold my fist.

Perth Royal Show

Perth Royal Show, 25 September 2005

This is the one year once event, it is consider a huge event for people
who lived in Perth, and it is also another big event to us - the
international students.

It is just like carnival that includes everything, rides, food,
clothes, showbags, animal, culture show..... etc. It is an event for
everyone, that's why, it is so packed with people, especially a sunny
day like that Sunday.

Me n Zoe went there early in the morning, arrived there 15minutes after
they opened.... it is a good morning as it is not that pack with crowd
yet. Too bad i had to leave early to go to work, which is one of my
biggest regret. I missed the lights ... the lights of the carnival,
lights from the carousel, lights from the ferris wheel .... all n all
... it would be the best time to snap picture with my lomo camera -
coloursplash. and also i heard they have fireworks ... damn it!!!

Oh, the above picture is one of the rides that we played ... haha SY
vomitted after riding it .... (i know i am bad enuf to say it here ...
and i know i shud show some sympathy... but... but... it is all HER
.....POTATO CHIPS fault)




They have so many balia haunting house, and this is one of the balia
haunted rides that we've played on. I don't understand why the rides is
so freaking expensive ... maybe it is becuz they open one year once,
and so they grab all the money within that carnival week.

There are also tons of showbags, i bought myself a COKE showbag, which
contains some soda drinks and also lots of lollies. What is special
about this showbag is that, it include one COCA-COLA fishing chair....
ahem, it looks like director chair too.


(on the chairlift with Zoe)

What i love the most is the chairlift .... never had one before, i
recognise this thing in Roller Coaster Tycoon 2, the game that i used
to play.

I will definately go for next year Perth Royal Show again, as i miss
the fireworks and also the night scene, the place is so big that you
couldn't finish discover everything in a day.

What i don't like is the smell of those animal, those smelly smell from
calf, pig, sheep, horse, pony, cats..... it makes me wanna puke more!

Afterall, it is a great day to go to such thing, haha we've got burn on
our face too, hvn't prepare for the burn as few days ago still raining.



(emm.... not sure whether you could see those caption- ok i says "i not syiok with u", then another one i says "becuz of youre "ai lou bu lou de" style)



Conclusion, it is "ren san ren hai" ...... very crowded, but makes me excited....
hahaha i've have isolated for quite some time, din see so many people
in one place for a long long time!!!

Whew .... i didn't update my blog for 2 god damn week, you see .... i am really that busy lo!! No la, not trying to be "chuin" or wat, but i am really really busy.... now think back what i have done within these 2 weeks.

Since now that i am working mostly in the weekend, i really dun have free time to stroll myself under the sun at Freo, as i am dead tired, i don't even have a decent sleep every morning. That Friday itself, i've got presentation, the day before i gotta go to the airport to fetch Chip's puppy - CH... and so finally i got to buy that pants that i want from Carousel... too bad!!! The car die down on me n Chip, letting us, these 2 girls from Malaysia, knowing nothing about cars and about to rush to the airport.... that was a night, 9pm!!! That is really an experience to us, don't know why, we always experience such an experience together!!! Luckily after asking around for battery lead cable for 45mins, we finally get to borrow electric n to make the car start!! Phew!!! .... i am so damn scared as it is the night... you knowla, after the sunsets, the street in aus damn dark.

There are so many things that is waiting me to do it ... assignments, decision to make, plan for trips .... as the semester is going to end soon, assignment also clashing together .... they just love each other so much that they have to submit together so that they could stick together more!!!IT is all BULLSHIT!!! MEdia assignment just love to hand in by the end of semester .... by then we all will die die die!!! I am afraid to imagine the situation by then.

Sometimes, i just wish to relax abit ... i don't mind paying a bit ... i just want to have a comfortable moment to chill ..... well i really wish i could have a private masseur, not OSIM though!!!

Throughtout these 2 weeks, the biggest event that i went to is the Perth Royal Show... i think i will write another entry for that particular event.

Actually .... after getting there, for so many months already, i know i have changed, i have a deeper thoughts, especially taking units like documentary and world cinema. Sometimes i tend to think alot, especially when i am alone or when i am about to sleep, sometimes people see me like no worries, or a person without any serious moment. Well, i just tend to not showing it!

I also have another confession to make







NO




not confession



i actually have a complain to make.... i have to write another entry for that, actually i have alot of things wanted to write it down here, but i always don't have the time to sit down and write. I just had another presentation done today, even though it is the ONE WEEK BREAK!!! Life is so hectic and full .... until i can't breathe properly and sleep properly.

Oh, there is another thing that i want to declare, i am going home .... going back to KL at the end of the year. Well ... i don't know why i want to go back though half of me don't really want to go back so soon. That day when Tommy ask me am i looking forward to go back, i hesitated for a while and i replied him that i am not really that looking forward to go back. The reason i go back it's becuz i just want to join my family trip to Kuching. After the trip, i will be doing nothing at KL, until Feb to fly back.... wow that would b a 2 months waiting.

I kinda settled my life here, i like it here, i don't have to stuff myself into that hot pot again!!! I could have a more enjoy life, going to the beach, have a stroll along the lake, though i m afraid of dogs. Or go biking in a park or the lake, you know!!! That kind of life, when you dun have to waste ur time sitting in the car, queuing up for traffic.....

One thing i miss about Malaysia is the food, dun say i am cruel of wat, i do miss my family, my missing them doesn't mean that i have to show it out, i miss them and i love them, it is inside my heart, but i am strong enough to live on my own but not within their shadow. Luckily, they are so supportive to me, they didn't give me any worries, cuz they didn't worry about me. This is what i am so lucky of my parents, my family! At least i know i am not those young bastard who depent on their parents ... ... ... speaking of who... ... you will soon find out!

Mid-Autumn Festival

Picture taken from Hunny's flat.

Happy Mid-Autumn Festival to all of u ... greetings from Perth

Old people said the moon overseas is bigger n rounder, yup i can't deny the fact it is really bigger n rounder than the moon we used to see in Malaysia, in fact, every month the 15, the moon here are so much bigger n rounder, it is even bigger n rounder than SY's ass. muahah!!

Looking at the pass few weeks, i am really busy with everything good. I dun even have time to cook or not to expect i would have free time to blog. Even today .... i am supposed to finish up my readings so that i could prepare for the presentation on Friday. But well .... cuz i got the mood to write, and i just have so many things to tell.

Too many things keep me busy within the pass few weeks, I couldn't manage to tell all, but well first highlight would be the Multicultural Week organised by MISA (Murdoch International Student Association) and i am one of the committee member. (well accidentally become one of them, it sounds like a big thing huh) On monday itself, we've got a Public talk on racism n blah blah .... and all of us need to dress up in formal to welcome those mayor n minister .... basically those big people, but we had a fun night.


MISA 2005

On thursday, we've got the big event day, we have all the cultural performances held at the Bush Court, we've cultural food, so for Malaysian, you can expect food like nasi lemak, curry puff and all selling in the campus, though they are a bit ex. But well .... to enjoy the performances with the food plus the adorable sun, relax at the bush court is a must, though i had to be the camera person to capture some highlights, cuz i am unfortunately the media officer for MISA.

On Tuesday night itself, we a bunch of people went for movie, after watching the attractive and delicious chocolate ... hmm we went to "jun jun" for the famous Assam Fish Head... finally we get to visit there again with lots more people and try more different dishes.

Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday i am working .... last week i worked for 16 hours, i thought i couldn't manage it, but here i am today... went through it with cold hard cash.

Unforgettable experience - Thursday cocktail course. I never experience trying and tasting cocktail, liquor n liquer this much within 1 1/2 hours. We paid for the course, but we had a good night, good experience, luckily we din get so drunk until we have to sleep at the tavern, we still manage to walk back to our flat and sleep. ... haha i never tried walking imbalancely before, though i know i din feel any dizziness nor headache nor double vision ... i am just so awake, i only feel like i can't walk properly and that's all. So what is best for me to cure the uneasy feeling is to lay on the bed n fall asleep as quickly as i could. Which is weird..... my face not as red as i drink red wine, my cheek not as red as my usual cute looking cheek (sorry perasan a bit ... but ... it is .... red mah!!) LT, Z they all .... got a red hot chilli pepper running tru their veins .... hahaha they look so cute and adorable.


So "kua cheong" red!!! I look normal though.

Was busy either in studies or working or MISA ... but hey we will never forget to go out and search for fun. Saturday night after SY working, we head to Burswood for casino n Ruby Room. We joined the Burswood club, so we get free entry into the club. Going in there, looking down at the dance floor, just like watching music videos or those teenage movies. Clubbing really involve with lots of seducing and sexual movements, not to mention alcohol.


The crowd that we observed from upstairs.

So boys will be boys, so they ham sap.... girls will be girls, so they seduce guys with their sexual alike dance movements. OR they play 4P.... kissing with guys and kissing with the girl friend infront of the guy friend... without any passionate effect ... cold kissing!! But well, not to say those who get to stand on the dance floor dance really well, some of them just stand there and move a bit. So nothing like in the movie scene where people compete with each other on their dance movements. We having fun observing and sitting ontop... cuz Z said she dun want to be molested, cuz it seems a bit dangerous to dance down there.... but it is not safe at all that we are upstairs... cuz there are hamsap asian uncle hogging on her. Their "gap lui" expression damn obvious, really the 100% "wooi soh lou" ....



We even saw a innocent looking young boy, who look a bit cute but dunno why he is alone n sits in a corner doing nothing, not even with an exciting expression... he just floats around for nothing ... making me curious. After his disappearance, we saw another guy look like him, but that one with a vietnamese hairstyle, look a bit doggy, also doing the same thing, sitting there doing nothing, alone!!! Freaks us out.... cuz they just look like "you wen ye guai" (in canto) means ghost who floats around without expression. The more we says, the more we freak ourself.

In the end, although i did gamble a bit, but i din win any or lose any ..... my average luck. Afterall, i dun hv such a huge modal to gamble on.

Oh i wanted to mention, the chocolate liquer that we taste on the cocktail course .... wow ... it is really amazing, i love it so much!!! .... now am eatin chocolate, plus drink a bit of wine ... hehe to make my own custom chocolate liquer.

** Looking forward to these sunday Perth Royal Show **

Season changed, emo start

Looking through the snipet that Yahoo! News provided, got to know that there is actually alot of natural disaster happened these few days. According to my analysis, every year's September have alot of natural disaster or incident that lost alot of human lives.

This year happened the same thing, Katrina, Taiwan earthquake, Japan typhoon, Medan air crash and the list goes on if you read the news.

If you look through the history of earthquake, typhoon... do you know it normally happened around September and also March.

When i am happily discover my live in Australia, i always tot winter would be cold n lotsa rain n wind. Who knows!! now winter has gone, n most of the time winter has got sunny day, not much of wind, not too heavy rain.

However, strom happened once around April, and these few days, it has strong strong wind. Yea now is September also.

Do you ever wonder why?

becuz the season is changing, the earth has a different position, and that makes the gravity different, cuz the moon position with the earth position has changed to 2 totally extreme side. Erm.... hard to explain, but it has something to do with the weather, the earth. When the weather is going wild, we can't expect we will have smooth days to goes rite!

So do human behaviour, old people said when the moon turn round every month, weirwoves appears. This is true, becuz human behaviour are closely related to the environment.

I myself, getting emo lately.

I felt i has been bullied, not like the convention bully though, but i would like to use this word to describe it.

I wanted to smile and i wanted to laugh, but i just can't, becuz i don't want to be nice and then people would bully me again.

So many things happened, maybe i am a lil bit sensitive around this season changed, emo come, so i found all this negative things.

I know i might sounds stupid, idiotic, asshole to say this, but am truly felt this way.

That day, i went for training at Pizza Express, then after i got back, wah my flat got lotsa people, becuz they are still here for the so called 'SUSHI FESTIVAL'. I didn't want it to be held this day, cuz i have been eating sushi as dinner for 2 continuos days, but what i can do even if i say no, the power is not with me, then i have to follow what the group says. Even if i gone working. Yea they are nice enuf to left me SOME sushi, which is not even fill my whole stomach. Irony enough, they said it is god damn cheap to eat this way, only $4.70 eat until vomit!! I wasn't unpset about the small portion i had until i felt hungry in the midnight. What lit up my fire is that the pizza that i brought home, it is supposed to be my dinner, n yet i only got one slice. When i am tiring gone back home, n i saw so many people, ok i knew my pizza gonna share it anyway, not to say i am selfish or not willing to share, i am prepared to share. But not with people grabbing it, open it, start to eat it without me saying so. Some people i am willing to share, but this small piece of pizza gotta share among 7-8 people!!! and so i got only one slice of it, i have been starving when i send my delivery, smelling all the crispy tasty pizza smell inside the car and yet i can't eat it. Until i got home, and yet i don't really have enuf energy to entertain people, seeing the images of people grabbing the pizza. Tat is horrible enuf.

Even when i open the door n got home and they make me felt like superstar.... haha people are actually hogging on the pizza that i am holding. I wasn't pissed at all that time, i only start to turn emo when i got hungry n got to know that i still have to pay for that 8 pieces of 烂饭团. I am not sure the box that they left for S whether she would pay. Cuz what i saw from that box, she has got more pieces than i got, and every pieces that i got are not the real sushi rice. I have to pay, clean up the mess, eating without enjoyment, not even fill my stomach, and have to stay happy also. Later at nite, even got insulted with pictures taken of my string bra.

Although i am the youngest, but that doesn't mean i can be bullied lo. (well maybe not bully, maybe i am just being forgotten)

Another case, i felt i was being bully becuz i am not the dominant people in the group, script being change, idea being covered.... becuz when she change for the first time, i never make any sounds, i never protest, cuz i wanted to have a good relationship in the future, if not i would suffer even more.

I am always the eldest in the family, people listen to me, people follow me. When i am outside, i am being nice, try to pretend i am happy, try to help other people when i really feel like helping even though sometimes i do show my pissed face, or even a 串 look. But sometimes people do take you for granted! That's why i am always playing on the safe side, i never reveal my true colour in the first, second, or even third met. I am reserve, becuz human are too complicated.

Lastly, i wanted to mention, i fcuking hate the feeling of 一场欢喜，一场空. Once i got excited over something, i expect it to happen, if got last minute turn off... i really hate it. When i am all prepared to be entertained, or to be enjoyed.... then last minute got chopped off all this excitements. Argh.... hate it!

When i am getting emo, the words that i speak out, gotta be quite sarcastic, not the 'pour cold water' kind, that would appear when i am getting overly happy n overly excited. But once you sees blood n sphere in my words, that would hurt your feelings.




Who said geminian are not emotional, damn emotional 1, cuz our feelings, emotional, mood always change. We can be damn excited, then suddenly sit there and dun want to talk.

In conclusion, all girls, lady, women also emotional la, cuz we always have the RIGHTS to get emo. From the age of 8 months old til 80 also know how to play the game of emotional.



I am now gonna change my mood

Wish my 2 friends HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! Badly, i wasn't in Malaysia, if not ... cuz normally i would be the one who initiate to celebrate it. Haih... dun talk about B'day la, cuz when i think of it, it would reminds me of my sucky 20 bday that i hold on my tears and stay happy.

It's time to give up

becuz ppl already got gf. Erm... i shud say, he get back with his ex.

so it's time to pull myself out.

since that i am going to be a hardcore worker, so money n studies is what i am looking at now. NO MONEY NO TALK, i shall learn from them! The evil grinning "muahahahaha", no, i can't stand being "ham sap" by an old rich uncle, only SY can tahan tat. Cha dou!

Haih... why everytime also like this, when i got excited n more n more people know abt it, things will go to an unexpected stage, which is not wat i wish!!!

Chixin... dunno wat kind of life i have.

Ok i shall go to sleep n never be a stupid who let people bully me.

Yea... last nite til today, i felt like i was being bullied. Dunno why!

Katrina

I dunno much about it, and never thought it would be this bad due to the lack of media exposure i have, no newspaper, no CNN, no radio... Looking at the weather condition today we had, the govt even issues severe weather warning for tonight.

Katrina news is everywhere in the net, it has been so many days but i still dunno the devastation is this bad. Until today i am in the mood to find out what actually had happened over there.

It had been 6 days i guess!! At the moment the news they had is about the aftermath, counting the dead and all sort of things, i dun really know how bad it swept the city of New Orleans.

Thousands of dead bodies, it had became an almost desserted city in the state, rescuers need to use heli to help n search for bodies or lives. This reminds me of Tsunami.

I came across with a news in Yahoo - Katrina's Victims Poorer Than U.S. Average

This interested me, becuz the U.S. is almost like the dominant country for this world, they have lotsa money and that is the impression that they gave to the whole world. After reading the post, i only found out that there are actually people there have worse living condition than the average malaysian.

One in 200 American households doesn't have adequate plumbing. One in 100 households in the most affected areas didn't have decent plumbing, which, according to the Census, includes running hot and cold water, a shower or bath and an indoor toilet.

At least people that i know in Malaysia have decent plumbing system, and lots of us own a car!

I wonder what that country offer to their state, they haven't take care of their own citizen properly n yet wanted to go n take charge of others country.

N now they are asking for help, asking for donation... to be honest i think they had better ask their own govt help n those rich people living in another state to help them, cuz those who are seriously rich, needed to know that they have to help those victims.

When tsunami struck, i was thinking why such bad things happen to those who already having a bad living condition, bad life, why not the rich and those who never appreciate how lucky they are. Now it struck the state, but it is one of the poor state in U.S., why not happen in places that is full of rich ppl, like those who live in Beverly Hills?!!

Hardcore Worker

I have went tru training n working within this week, now i am officially a hardcore worker!

I went for my 2nd training at JAS Sushi this friday nite, then saturday nite it is the real thing... well yea the weekend nite is surely da bomb. It has so many people that makes the place kelam kabut, it is not easy to remember who ordered what n who to serve, so being a waitress really need to be careful, good in memory, and serve well... yea!! It is a challenge, cuz i am so scared if the boss will scold at me, even though she is such a nice nice person that makes me feel like an aunt of mine, she is soft, but i was scared whenever i did something wrong n she found out n pointed it out to me, cuz i wanted to make good impression mah, so that i could raise my salary quicker lo!!!

After the Saturday PAID nite, wow.... within that 4 hours, it passes so fast n i din even realise that i earn $32 within that 4 short hours. Time passes faster when we are busy. Then we head to Conca's for Yummy Chilli Mussels, truly satisfaction... and then we proceed to Burswood for casino... tis time around our mission is to apply for Burswood Club membership, so that we could get free drinks. However they even gave us some voucher to try our luck. I am not that lucky though but SY won a huge sum of money without any modal. We might return next week to get more voucher to play... hahaha though i am not really a gambler ler.. cuz we din use any modal at all.

Today, i went for Pizza Express drivers position training, phew ! i was a lil nervous at first, esp my first deliver, the family ordered 4 pizza and it was so damn heavy for me to carry it with one hand... i wasn't prepare for the changing money, so i kinda embarass myself, cuz i keep on dropping coins. and becuz this is the first delivery, i din take out the pizza from the warmer.... so i was kinda kelam kabut with taking out the pizza from the warmer without any hands and yet need to ask the customer to help to take the warmer with the pizza for me and then i find the change for them... how malu!!!!

Then the second delivery not so bad afterall... cuz i know i should take the pizza out from the warmer inside my car, then only deliver to the customer. From then onwards, i am not so bad.... i m just abit lost when i got back to the shop n dunno what to do n stand there instead, but everyone seems so damn busy.

This paid training not so bad afterall, just tat the manager talk abit fast plus his accent, i kinda like need to take some time to swallow what he said. Luckily Amelia is one of the staff there, phew she kinda help me alot, I even get to take one small pizza back with any choice of mine, i could even custom the toppings... hehe this is fun then! Yea i ordered a hawaiian based, then i added some bacon, tuna, prawn, more n more cheese, garlic powder, chilli powder... which is quite nice, though when i got home, we've got alot of guest at home, cuz they came to make n eat sushi, so my delicious pizza only get to eat one slice... n i am now still hungry!!!

In total, alot customer give tips, well not exactly tips, but they just ask me to keep the change. After counting the allowance for every trip plus the tips, well at least i earn back my petrol money. But only a lil bit of it.... bt then the salary is way much better, cuz i spend most of my time driving around in the dark, searching for the numbers of the house... (stupid aussie dun switch on their light, how could i know what number that house is!!) and listen to the radio!

What i am frustrated at is that now i hv 2 jobs.... pizza asked me to work on sat nite, but i wasn't free on saturday nite, cuz i might be working for sushi!!.... and too bad, i can't work on thursday nite either, cuz i hv that bloody stupid screen text tut!! I am so stupid to take up the friday morning tut, i should have change it to thursday at first, now i am regretting.... cuz i can't work on thursday nite!

But well, now i sounds more like a hardcore worker than a hardcore students... i must not neglected my studies man!!! I am just scared i dun hv time for screen pro shooting.

私心的人

I knew if i don't have the ability to write, i would have lost a lot of chances for expressing my own idea or script.

We were happily discussing about the drama after workshop tat day, and i know that my idea was being well accepted, just tat J's idea not too bad, but is not a really fresh idea, it is more like the low budget hollywood teenager film. Then we discuss about the drama, then we locked down the idea and i was fine with it, then J volunteer to write the scrip enthusiasticlly. Then we let her write lo since she volunteer and i know i am not tat capable.

Then we have a discussion the next day, and then she said she wasn't ready with the script, this is understandable cuz script is not a one day thing. But when she is telling what she wrote, it became HER thing.... HER thing!!! I kinda sense why she wanted to write the script, so that she could change to HER thing, her element, revolving around her idea, and that is totally the opposite of what we have agreed on. Luckily Rachel make out the point. ok it is like this my idea is to bring out the idea of a guy diea in the first scene, then the girl marry the dead spirit and another guy kill himself in the end. and then her idea is about girl n girl jealousy and the girl make some dark magic so that anther girl won't have such a good love life. So now we combine our idea, but all of us agreed on the jealousy part is only as one of the small element tat feature in the drama, but the main thing is to bring out the idea of the first guy die in the first scene as a very very shocking n tragedy, then the girl marrying the dead becuz of that jealousy frend, in the end the new guy kill himself cuz he can't accept the girl choose him over the dead spirit.

When we were discussing on friday, rachel pointed out the point that the way she wrote it making the jealousy as the main thing, so we got back into track again n let her to write the script. So now the script came out and ... yea things change again..... this time when i read it... i really don't know what to say.... i hv this question in my mind, who would buy this?!?!?!?!??

Now it became not only the jealousy part... my tragedy dead in the beginning not that shocking anymore, the marrying the dead not even a fresh thing, then the ending part not even a climax... n where the helll is the climax, we are supposed to hv 3 climax....!! Damn it... i don't know what to say, as i know them and i dun want to ruined the relationship of working with them, if not it would be hard.

Why Why Why.... why people are so full of 私心, why can't they just write what the group agreed on, why they love to change, n change to their own thing which seriously sounds damn ridiculous.

I hate myself for not being able to write. To be honest, if i m writing it, i will really write what the group agreed on and never change a single main idea of the film. because i want to respect the whole group, i want to leave a good remark rather than people remembering me as the selfish bitch that shud never work in a group with her in the future. Why would i want to spoilt my own reputation as names are very important in this industry. I know everyone wants to see their own thing on the screen, and if it is not done in this stage it will be even harder to be filmed when we are out frm the uni, but seriously, dun hv to be soo soo damn obvious that her intention is to bring out her own idea and it really really a total crap ah so to say...

What is worse is that, she emailed our tutor, cuz he wanted to see what our drama would be, then his reply was just ... i dunno how to say! this is what our tutor reply.

Hi,
I am sorry to say this but there is no story here. Nothing happens and no dramatic values.
Where is the cause and effect structure we talk about.?? Something causes something else to happen which is stopped by a certain obstacle that is overcome but still causes something else to happen and so on and so forth until the conclusion which is often is a twist (ie it can be explained through what has happened in the story but was not obvious to the spectator).
I don’t think this idea is good or even well developed. I think you need to sit down and develop it properly.

Find a fresh idea- something we have not seen before.
The backdrop to the story should be interesting (what is the cause/basis of your hero’s problems?)
What then is the conflict in your character or between your characters?
You need to be clear first about that before you write the story.

Are there any other ideas to develop or this the only one? I am afraid it is not the most fresh idea I have heard lately!!!
Best to go back to the drawing board.
Cheers

I can't be sure if she write it in what we agreed on, whether the tutor will buy it, but at the moment, the current script that she CHANGED... really really upset me!

A week "break"

I am supposed to read my reader for the tuesday Screen Text's test throughout the week break. However, i spend my whole week playing, exercising, shopping and all. Fun though!

Monday played Frisbee.

Tuesday played badminton for 3 hours then head to Nando's chicken, i wonder why singaporean loves Nandos so much as they don't have nandos in spore, sumore the Nandos here is way much better than Malaysia's Nando, hv to order the extra spicy, and that flavour can really satisfied those who hunger for spicyness.

Wednesday a shopping day for us, SY has been eagering to buy a nice top from valley girl at carousel, but that time she complained that it was too expensive so she din buy it, but we all convinced her to buy cuz she really look good in that top. So on wednesday our mission to Carousel is to make her buy that top, too bad it ran out of stock, which is her luck eh! We even went to Belmont's Supree for cheap top, singlet and all .... I've got to admit, i hv bought alot (consider alot d) Spring really have the power to make you buy more, buy more new style of outfit.

Thursday, a day for laser game... hehe it was god damn fun. Anhui organised the whole thing, she got 25 ppl and we played a lock out, so we booked the entire war field for one hour, and it is only $10. So damn cheap and so much fun! For people who dun love to run, or shoot, or hide, this is definately not your game. Though i am not the top 3 scorer , but hey i hv improve in the 2nd game, and i rank 8 out of 25 instead of 13 out of 25 in the first game. Good strategy is a must, and one word need to have to play this game "COURAGES" yes, courages.... you have to dare to run around, move around in order to b the top. At night, we went to K-Mart for late night shopping, actually shop for LT's bra, cuz we all noticed that her boobs got bigger, while mine got smaller.... while waiting for LT, me n SY looking at those awfully designed and super sized bras. I think Malaysian bras suit me more, the design they have here is either too flowerish, with lotsa lace, too thick.... or too thin without any design, no support at all. However, i can't deny that they have lotsa diff design for G-String. Since there is a clerance unders to grab, i convinced Sy to buy that 2 for $5 G-string, to try on it n tell us how it feels wearing a string at the back.

Friday was planning to pick Zoe from the airport and then head to the city for late night shopping, there is also another reason, to find Valley Girl so that SY could buy that top. While i was still sleeping in the morning, i received a call from JAS sushi @ Freo, she wanted us to go for training today .... whew, luckily we hv nothing on in the arvo. Well, it consider not much work to do, just hv to memorised all the jap name for those sushi n meals. $8 an hour.... i am desperately in need of money, so $8 have to accept it, cuz finding a decent job with high pay is not easy, especially us - the Asian. Then in the evening we head to the airport and then to the city. It is our first time shopping in the city til late night. Thought the city shops close at 9pm, we had our dinner then head to the convention centre for a warehouse sales.... nothing much we could buy, cuz the variety of stock not really favour me.

Saturday, finally got some rest at home, but then we still go out to Coles for groceries shopping...
and yet, i still haven't read my reader. How undetermine i am.

Today... wonder when i would start on my reader, but still thinking whether i should go to Freo for mandarin oranges. hmm...

2 mins

Been busy these 2 nights, WHY? becuz got a rehearsal for thursday morning TV interview.

lotsa work to be done, as this is our first time experimenting all these live TV interview process. No one there to teach us how, and we have to do it on our own, experiment it in our way. And so i became the Floor Manager for tis assignment.

I was rushing to cook my dinner last night, and then i saw an unusual name msn messenger window pop-up. It has to be a usual guest, but since we din't chat for long long time in msn, and so i have no hope on it. But suddenly it just pop-up, with 3 messenges he sent to me.

He was offline when i saw it, but then when i saw the last message received time, it was 2 minutes before i came in n check my comp while i was cooking. He was online 2 minutes before i came, it is so hard to see him online, it is so hard to keep in touch without chatting or exchanging experience of life, so what can i expect the feeling for each other remain the same?

2 minutes, it seems short, but it is long enuf for a person to gone offline, this kind of situation not that i have never experienced before, just like the day he gone back to his kampung when i was busy packing my luggage to Penang for CNY.

It has been 7 months... i am not sure whether i can still remember his look. (well still can remember bits n pieces la)

Ok it is spring, a new leaf turning season, flower blossom season, everyone with happy mood, birds chirping, trees dancing, flowers get married and give birth to their newly born colourful kids.

I have the feeling to buy myself a new wardrobe.... whew, no money to spend.

Somebody gimme a job please... so that i could have money to spend, and i may like the flowers, turn into a beautiful, colourful peacock!!!

Wahaha, how can i describe myself as a peacock leh!

It is study break now, i am supposed to have an exam next tuesday, but i haven't start any readings yet, infact, i am going out almost everyday, shopping, playing, eating and all .... basically enjoyin life as a adventurer.

Best of luck to myself n my group for tomorrow's TV interview. Gotta wake up darn early tomorrow then.

SPEND!!

Geez... i never expect myself to spend on a simple tee shirt for AUD$ 25 bucks, and that equivalent to RM75.... This is so far the most expensive t-shirt i have bought, it is in white and it is just a simple beach tee... yea

As the spring season coming, everywhere you go you seems to have a re-born kind of feel, a new life begins, a new beginning for everyone.

It makes you feel like spending more, spend more to make yourself to look good, to suit the upcoming new season, this is so fun.... but spending parents money do make me feel guilty.

Last nite chat with family, everyone of them said i look thinner... hmm i dunno abt that, cuz i dun dare to weigh myself, but to be honest, i do feel that i, my body is slimmer.

Maybe i dun hv a good meal for myself, at home i get to drink soup everyday, rice, nice food .... food are everywhere in malaysia. Here, i have to take care of myself, cooking for my own, of cuz simple food would do. Maybe that is the secret how i look slimmer gua!!

I am so happy today when i went to the fitting room to try on the shirt. Ya know why? Cuz it is a full body mirror, i get to see my whole body... and it really look slimmer than 8 months before, i wonder why, and i was shocked too ...

Eh the shirt that i bought is a "XS" ya know...

muahahaha never in my life had XS before, bt i gotta admit the size is a bit extra not like the usual XS la!! so bare with me .. i am happy so who cares!

At night, went to TV Studio for rehearsal on Live TV Interview.... we had so much fun though we dun have enuf crew to help out, Rachel got 4 of her friends, and they are hilarious.

Playing with the camera, working as the Floor Manager for 4 hours, frm 9pm - 1am, of cuz "satisfaction" written on my face.

I am even happier when i heard they talk about the drama. I was so surprised that Rachel did tell my idea to her friends and they all find it so interested!!

I wonder my idea was being accepted tat day, since we haven't really decide on that. But then Fred he even suggest to add a tragic end with another guy kill himself. Yup lots of bloody scene... woohoo ...

I am happy

I am happy

At least i know my idea was being accepted, at least i would got to work out some of my ideas on this project.

If we din get to present our own idea well, it is harder to make it into film when we graduated. so now it is the chance to just do what we wanted to do, this is the time to find my ownself, which direction i wanted to go and all .... good discovery then!!

Hehehe

Wish me luck then! I wish i could be the director too, cuz i am finding myself at this stage.

Say no to editing, say no to sound ....

directing, cinematographing here i come ... as for producer i think this gotta work out abit more on that!!

Shocks

I can't deny that, when you are down, family is the best people in the world to cheer you up. It doesn't matter whether i share the problem i had with them, but i can guarantee, chatting with them, looking at them, make me feel so much better.

This afternoon, i hd received a huge shock!! The idol that i hv been idolising for 7 yrs, since i was 13 years old til now, though now my passion towards him is not like the old days, but yet is an idol that i admire, his voice, his looks, and now that he courage.

The courages that he took to tell the world that he is G-A-Y!! Yea he just broke the news to the UK tabloid. He brokes million girls' hearts. Including mine of cuz.

How can i describe my feelings eh ...

I dunno!

I know i have to accept it, be proud of him and wish him happy as always.

The thing is the matter of time for me to accept a sudden news. Though rumours have been around for so many years, but nothing come out to prove he is. All the while he has given me the impression of a playboy, but i can accept that, cuz it is none of my business.

And now that he admits he is GAY, just a lil bit disappointed, one more gorgeous looking man in the world committed with the same sex. What a waste.

What the world has became now. Last time my frend's idol also admit he is a GAY, but that doesn't relate to me, so i wasn't really know how was it. And now, it is my turn to experience such heartbroken thing.

I wasn't prepared for it!

Lots of celebrities are GAY, look at Elton John, George Michael....etc. They are all successful gay artist. To be honest, the artist's sexuality or private life has nothing to do with the fans. As long as they still produce good music, they still perform their best for people who support them.

Though i have mixed feelings, i know one day i would take it easy, just like the smoking habbit. I need time.

I just wish he won't get any AIDS or quit singing.... That would be the biggest shock!

*Back to the family part*

I came back from SV dessert n movie night, i was a lil tired, not in a high mood at all. Then so happened, my "sam pat" cousin sis wants to webcam n chat with mic with me. I am so glad to see my lil cousin face close up shot, looking happily, excitedly, greeting me with energy. It really make my day. As chatting goes on, brother came along, mom, dad, uncle, grandma, aunties, more cousins, kakak ....

I am really very happy to chat with them, all of them were asking me when i m going back, it really makes me wanted to go back n stay for a longer duration instead of just CNY.

I want to go back to get crazy with them, eat, shopping .....

And so on .... my cousin sis n bro tell me abt some gossips.... my cousin bro n sis got bf/gf .... (alert: younger than me)

Especially my cousin bro, i never expected he would have a gf at this moment. More n more of them got into relationship.... making me felt so mentally imbalance .... (muahaha)

Ok... i dunno abt myself, when cousin sis tell me abt all those, i just felt like "WAH, WAT!!" shocked the hell out of me. I am like so "sat bai", such a loser ( i m the eldest among all btw)

Well .... well, it is all fated, it is things that i can't control at all.

Secret!

Today's Forecast

Shhh. You have a secret. And while communication is your greatest strength, now is not the time to share this secret. Keep it to yourself a bit longer. Hard? Try sharing with a journal if you really need to spill the beans.

This is my Friendster Horoscope forecasts for today, all along since they started this thing i din give a damn, cuz i tot it is a commercial, so i din really look at it, until tat day SY saw me surfing friendster and she asked y my love meter always full, i said i dunno and what the hell is tat. From that day onwards, i started to take a look at it! And this is today's forecast.

Yes i have a secret to keep, a big one. Discover yesterday nite in a serious chat with my long long friends. Chatting with her it is like "fa qian xin da lu" (in mandarin though, it means discover new land like what Columbus did)

I became a middle person in a small small conflict or misunderstanding, but what can i do? cuz i am not in malaysia. Why would this happen, cuz one never open their heart and tell each other how they feel, so they keep inside and become like this. Though it is nt a big deal, i dun wish to see a bad ending in a friendship for this long.

What is going on in between? The THINKING, ones complain tat they should upgrade their thinking and not staying in that teenage "bohliao" level. Ones complain dunno what the other party were thinking, so making them find it offended no matter what she did or say.

So now i know 2 party thinking and i became the middle person, and so i have to keep the secret.

I was shocked when i found out that friend's thinking, she never tell we never know she actually start thinking of those matured stuff that caused her into abit of extremist, as in feeling damn disappointed at the society today.

Yea well whatever i would have to keep this as secret bt at the same time have to works things out.

Current Biggest Fear

Before this new semester starts, before Zoe comes back, i have one fear, the biggest fear ever this year!

New semester sure will have new people come, this batch i have quite alot of the KDU-rian that i know is coming over, but to say very close with them and some of them are those ppl that i can't touch nor get close with them.

What i fear of is that these people might be a friend of Z, and m afraid that they might stick to Z and it will happened to stick with us. I am happy with current situation, not wanting some weird people to come n join, sometimes we just played too over, and if those freak come n join in as a group we won't feel comfortable and yet we won't play too over~~

Yes, my biggest fear
1. Ca**ne - a girl happened to be quite a 2 faces person, she was once close with Z, luckily she has her own batch of friends and i heard Z n C got problem once. - close case -

2. Ka**n (the freak) - yea i know i am mean, but i can't help it this is her impression that she gave to me. I wasn't afraid of her existence before that, but i heard she n Z was once roommate, and they were quite close. Sadly, K doesn't have any friends in Perth, not even those she come over with, wonder what's wrong with her, cuz everyone seems to avoid her, doesn't want to be close to her.

Within few days that Z came back to Perth, K started to follow her, maybe Z was sympathised on her loneliness and so she asked her to follow along. The first nite that Z came back, she joined us for dinner, so our car exposed to her! Then monday, she also follows Z to come over to my flat to watch 'Desperate Housewives', Tuesday she sticks along with Z in MMA's AGM and then so happened she follows me n Z for a movie - 'Sin City'.

This was ok, though me SY n LT felt uncomfortable insidely and din tell out, as what i fear of, today it happened!!

Z msg me on MSN:

izit ok if ka**n wana shared d car wif us
cz she everytime joined us,then i ma asked her to share as well lo

To my fear, i dunno how to answer her as my heart tells me that I DUN WANT no matter how hard my heart scream to me, i dunno how to reply her and so i have to reply with the undecisive tone or a young girl who can't make a decision.

I wanted to ask SY, but she was sleeping in her room, dun want to wake her up with this kind of problem. I felt so shitty, cuz i know Z din have our kind of feeling for her and she is trying to help her.

So happened, LT called and asked to fetch her to Dewson, so we were discussing abt it on the way, wahahaha now only i know that LT also felt uncomfortable with her and doesn't have a good impression on her, she said "my intuition tell me that not to trust this person".

When i am home, i tell SY abt it, and in the arvo, K asked SY whether she can fetch K to the airport, we knew one day if our car exposed to lots of the ppl, ppl will start to used you, and we don't want to be used, cuz petrol is getting expensive, and way to n back frm the airport is not a short distance too. Not to say we are thrifty, but if one start to provide this kind of service, more will come to us, unless you are really one of our really really really good friend. After all, we are not rich student, we all came from a middle class family, it is god damn lucky that we got to go abroad, but we have to know spend our parent's money wisely, not being a good dumb so called 'friend'.

And so just now, we had a family meeting, me n LT push SY to tell the truth to Z, we have to tell her the truth if not things that we dun wish to happened will happen. So we tell Z that we dun feel like sharing the car with K and Z asked y, so we said we dun have a good impression on her and our feeling to her kinda weird and so me n LT agree with it. Yea sometimes need to be "jue" so that everything could be clear, misunderstanding won't appear, this is what we want in our life.

Yea.... problem solve, but still lotsa challenge to meet, finger cross and i will go to sleep.

Tmrw gotta pitch our idea... i still can't really have a complete one, and the idea i had gotta involve a very big production ... hmm gotta see how, well try me best!

- sLEEp -

Untitled

Blerk!! Tickets for 'Taste of Chaos' had SOLD OUT, damn it, i am almost all prepared to go for it, then tell me about this sad news!!

Argh... yesterday Zoe came back from malaysia, finally we got to reveal her the prank, but before we reveal, we got to update her the fake story and make her believe, hahaha coincidently SY dyed her hair, she accidentaly dyed her fringe too bright (looks like ah lian, ah hua, ah beng, ah seng gang thatkind) With her image, 100% convinved Zoe about the changes in SY, plus she gotto dress up a lil sexy to the airport .... just so fun!!! Though we were late for it, cuz SY need some time to dress herself, makeup n all....

Throughout the whole journey back frm the airport to SV. Z keep on asking about SY "non existence" bf. The story make up to be, we hardly see SY and she always sleep over at the guys house, she din even go for lecture and with all her gesture make her sounds like a GOD DAMN BITCH!!

I remember when we got back to SV, SY need to go to the car to take her key, then left me, Z n LT, then Z asked me have i ever saw that guy, then i said "just for a while, not too clear which is tat drunken night" then she asked me whether tat guy looks reliable, then i shake my head n replied her that that guy doesn't look reliable at all. HAHAHAH she does believe eh.... Then the whole thing reveal when she got into SY room, and she seems blur also, doens't have a massive explotion like being cheater or pranked.... she just said "we very 'bin tai'"....

- Lots of updates for her -

Since Z is back, her once roommate - K (famously known as da freak) (wah i m so bloody mean here) ... yup, K follows her to everywhere .... err... i dun realli like it la, but wat to do, i can't voice out or refuse. I don't know whether it is becuz last time in kdu used to heard some gossips about her, about how desperate her private life is and all that freaky things, i don't have a good impression on her, so i don't really like her to follow Z and us. Somemore, Rach also thinks she is da freak (clue here, K is once R roommate la)

Went to the airport for 3 times in a week, pick up 3 different people, C, P and Z. Everyone is back to the SV. Last time Carousel seems far to us, but i have been to Carousel for 2 times in a week leh...

Ah forgot to mentioned, i bought a new creative 2.1 speaker + subwoofer for myself .... good sound quality, it is time to compete with Tommy n SY, i am bloody jealous with their speaker, so now i got mine ... wahahahaha!

Friday went to Screen Text's tut, holy shit everyone of us got to speak, and i am the first one to be asked about the week's screening, and i got to ask for apology cuz i miss the screening for some reason.

I seriously think i got some problem with the film industry, i don't really understand the whole genre thing, i don't know what kind of film belongs to what kind of genre, except for comedy, horror, thriller, action ... they are pretty easy to be recognised.

I do think i lack of film history and info in films, i only know how to visualised things that are in my head, don't really know how to express it well, express my idea and make them believe in my idea, i am so suck at this. Secondly i am bad in writing, damn! Ah... how to survive when i don't really know sci-fi films, and all those 50's directors and actors name. Bullshit! i only know TVB style, bloody hell, this is my non priveledge of watchin too many TVB drama series, and their kind of stlye only stick to one kind.

I got to improve myself in these!

That day i told abt SY situation to my frend KM. Actually is not really a situation, just tat abit unbelievable, and with her age she makes me curious about what her mind is thinking, i mean about "those" stuff. Yea i am such a curious kid.

Then one day, i asked her straight, i asked whether she ever had any sexual fantasy, she become god damn 'paiseh' she indirectly ask what about me. I had to admit and tell her the truth about myself, since i wanted to know about hers. YES i answered loudly. She got frightened with my answer n tone i think, her eyes gone big n round. Then i keep on insisting on my question to her, she go around the bush, damn shy .... in the end she din say it directly, she replied like "u says got mah got lo" .... c'mon i think this is supposed to be normal (my frend said) well i tought so too, this is bloody normal. Why i am so curious? Cuz i wanted to know whether she is normal or abnormal... hahah i remember after LT read about her sexuality n culture textbook, she said masturbating is normal in a medically explaination and those who don't are abnormal, SY said she would rather be abnormal. Now i wonder what is normal and what is not. ACtually my final question to SY is about whether she had any sexual desire before, but i gotta start with the fantasy thing, and then only see how to go in to that.... yea she is quite conservative about this kind of stuff, but sometimes she do surprise me with some other thing.

While we were talking about this, she diverted the whole topic to me, oh gosh finally she knew abt him, and she said alot, all the while i din really keep him in my mind, cuz it is ogos now, and what can we do, we have less contact, less communication since he left for batu pahat. But SY encourage me tat i MUST grab the chance, .... sounds so damn desperate! She even want me to take the action first, wah scared me! She even offer me her hp to sms him, wah i dare not man.... yea in this case i am so timid just like a mouse. After chatting with her, she made me think abt it for the whole night, even the next day, even when i am in the class .... she had made a deep impact on me! But well, now i am ok, still thinking whether i shud upload my Optus line specially for sms-ing to malaysia.

Oh co-incidentally, the day after chatting with SY, i received a msg frm him, he replied me with my bulletin post about the romantic level, why would her replied my bulletin post to me personaly, tell me his score ... wat is his intention!!! ok stop thinking

Last friday got my screen pro group, grouping with sam, jane, rachel and fred (a grad dip student) i think we've got a tremendous idea for our documentary from fred, now i shall come up with a good idea for our drama shooting.... i do have lotsa idea, bt they are all over, can't seems to concentrate on one. Cuz everyone must have a dream to be the director, a dream that their idea being accepted and screen it to everyone.

Forgot to mentioned, i am the cinematographer for the documentary project, cinematographer one of the post i dream of, besides i would loves to try on the director roll (but i suck at communicating n presenting), i would also loves to try on producer (but that has hell lotsa work)

At least i know i don't want to focus on sounds and editing.... cuz i had lots of visualising, fantasy, images in my mind, everyday ... evil thoughts, angel thoughts all in one, but i think i watch too much thriller, bloody images appear, hard to do on the make up leh .... blood blood ...

I shall go sleep and dream more.

Oh i wrote this post for 40 minutes d .... tsk tsk